Monday, 21 March 2011

Why hide behind a screen and hate, when you can compliment?

I recently read a blog post where the writer had become a victim of hate. Now I know this is a major problem when it comes to blogs, YouTube, and anywhere where users can post comments freely, but what I don’t understand is why?

I understand that life can be difficult, and we all face ups and downs, some of which can be harder to handle than others. But I don’t see this as any excuse to through abuse at people, whether you know them or not.

I have not fallen victim to any of this hate online; in real life this is a different matter, though it’s also to a completely different extent.

In real life I find it hard to share my life with others unless I am very close to them. My main reason for this is confidence. To a lot of people I seem this extremely confident, loud, outgoing person, when to be truthful I am the complete opposite, until I get to know someone that is. In fact until I know a person, or place I feel extremely vulnerable.
For example, if I am to visit somewhere new, I either have to take someone along for moral support, or if this is not possible, have a run through before hand. When taking a new route to work to I would have to try it the day before, to make sure that I knew where I was going. If attending a job interview I would have to personally take a look at the establishment before officially attending the interview. Not for the reason that if I didn’t like the look of the place I wouldn’t go, but instead to remove unnecessary nerves. Thinking about it, it may look like I’m staking out the joint. Probably why I don’t here back from people. Only joking.
I also hide behind humor.
Some people find my confidence issues a problem. Because they see this loud, confident person when I’m around people I know, they then see me as ignorant when I’m not the same around them. It’s hard to make people understand. That’s why, when they share these interesting stories about their lives, I can’t share mine, because even though I love my life, my family, and the things I get up to, I don’t feel like these things are interesting enough to hold the attention of a room full of people. So instead of adding my input, I just listen.

Blogging on the other hand is entirely different. I can share my life with people. Log the times that I find fun and interesting. Share my thoughts on certain topics about me, without the fear that people won’t find them interesting, because if they didn’t they could just shut down the page. Problem solved.

This is where my understanding for online hate ends.

My confidence issues work both ways. I also find it hard to compliment people in real life. Someone I don’t know, or know for that matter, could look amazing, or wear something so gorgeous that I feel that they need to know, but do I tell them? No. I fear that look on someone’s face that suggests that they think I’m strange or odd, for giving them a compliment.  So I keep quiet. I tell myself that ‘surely this person knows anyway’.

Which leads me to wonder, why can’t these haters, riddled with jealousy, speak the truth?
If they see a pretty person, or an average person, with a beautiful feature, instead of pointing out their bad points, (or making them up) compliment their good.

Because of my struggles, I would personally prefer to hide behind my computer screen typing compliments to people, brightening their day, than to shower them with hate that could slowly tear them apart.  If this person then feels ‘creeped’ out by the compliment, they can choose to ignore/delete the comment. Where as a comment filled with hate, can of course be deleted, but can it ever truly be ignored?

So I ask, instead of thinking, ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’, as the saying goes, think, ‘if you think of something nice, say it!’

Or in my case, type it. Haha.

I hope you enjoyed this post, or that it at least that made you think in a slightly different way. 

Speak soon,



  1. just started following ya blog and have to say i love it xoxo

  2. aw thank u for your comment also! and u are more than welcome I agree with the ' got nothing nice to say then say nothing' so many people just speak before thinking. Hope you had a nice weekend xxxx

  3. Your blog is such a breath of fresh air. You write so beautifully :]

  4. This is such a lovely post and I agree with literally everything you just said. I actually was so shocked to read that you too like to do test runs when going to job interviews etc. I had to do this last week as I have such a fear of not knowing where i'm going etc. I have a job interview tomorrow and have no idea where to go and i'm scared already!

    I love your honesty. I've just told the twitter world how much I love this blog, haha! I hope it brings you some more followers, more people should see this blog :) x

  5. Thank you so much. I don't have twitter, well I do, but I've never done anything with it, as I don't know how to use it. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. haha.
    I've had nothing but lovely comments on this post, and it's nice to know that when you write from the heart, people respect your opinions more, rather than just look down on you.
    And thank you for all the other comments, you don't know how much it means to me to have someone take the time to write me a comment.


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